omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
