Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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