Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
