I wanna bring you to show and tell
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
