so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
