dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
