i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
