She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
