I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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