I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
