Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
