so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
