Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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