in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
