um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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