why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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