watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
