your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
