If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Operation Purity has been aborted
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
