I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize