that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
