She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
