How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
