i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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