She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
