I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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