Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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