I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Randomize
