Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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