Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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