Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
