i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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