Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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