I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
