You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize