i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize