good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
