Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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