I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
