I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
