Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize