I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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