Apparently you make a good broom.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
