me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
