At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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