You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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