Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
