Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize