there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
