I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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