Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
