Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
