i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
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