I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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