Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
