11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I understand Curling. That high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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