I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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