i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think a kid would responsible me up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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